After my son died I put down many of the modalities and healing tools I had integrated into my life up until that point.
A major one being Astrology.
Feeling betrayed by these teachings meant to guide, support, and facilitate healing.
Feeling broken down, lost, and honestly — obliterated beyond comprehension.
Everything I thought I knew,
I didn’t.
The woman I used to be,
I wasn’t any longer…
she was gone,
dead,
unrecognizable.
—
So,
very intentionally,
I put it all away.
Starting from scratch,
returning to the question…
“What is actually real?”.
Nothing made any sense to me.
None of my previously held beliefs, practices, or understandings of the world could hold a candle to anything resembling truth.
My perspective and knowings dissolved into the ashes that now sit upon my altar.
Nothing felt real.
Some days, it still doesn’t.
So my velveteen rabbit search to find what is truly real began.
—
Eventually I found myself gazing back up towards the milky black sky,
the dotted patterns of the stars enticing me once again,
and soon I looked back at the many tools I had laid to rest before me.
Much like The Magician tarot card,
I found myself in a reflective space —
still with the question, “what is actually real?” weighing on my heart,
No answer in sight
until….
I found myself taking a breath and whispering…
“this moment is real, and so is my experience of it.”
Even if it wasn’t tangible,
even if it didn’t make sense…
this moment was real,
full of heartbreak and grief and sorrow,
but also beauty and love and imagination.
It wasn’t much,
but it was a spark of something,
and at that point, I’d take a spark of anything.
That little flicker of light brought a breath of freshness
and I picked up Astrology again.
But this time,
in a new way.
In a way that was real,
grounded —
rooted in a different kind of wisdom.
A wisdom that is found in the mythos of our ancestors,
the sacred mystery —
not to heal, transform, or pray the grief away…
but to learn to hold it with deep care.
Since picking up the medicine of Astrology once again,
I have found myself relating to it differently than before.
Rooted in a truth you can’t read from a book
or find in the stories of someone else.
The Astrology I sit with now is found in what is ancient and true,
pieced together from the broken bones of my lineage,
woven together of what is both painful and holy —
there is no fluff here,
no spiritual bypassing,
only intentional inward gazing with the most bitterly sacred of all the Medicine Women to walk this earth:
Grief.
—
The hidden codes written in one’s natal chart spoke to me & illuminated 3 main things:
1) How you may best walk alongside your grief.
(what kind of therapy is best, how you may function in the world as you hold grief,
2) What kind of grief you came here to be in relationship with.
(personal, ancestral, and collective)
3) The practices you can lean on to help you find meaning in death.
(spiritual, creative, & movement oriented practices…. even specific relationships that are most supportive)
In this recording I use my own chart as an example of how I’ve come to know both death & grief through the lens of the stars, as well as offering you some key pieces of what to look for in your own natal chart.
A summary of the key Astrological Grief & Death placements…
8th House: Ego death, rebirth experiences, existentialism, & trauma.
12th House: Human death, karmic endings, mental/emotional health, & mortality of self or others.
Pluto Sign & Placement: What you’re being invited to transform in this life.
— & when I say transform, I mean completely burn to the fucking ground and then rise up from the ashes.
Chiron Sign & Placement: Where you’re being asked to step into empowerment instead of self-victimization — the place of your deepest wounds, your inner healer, and alchemy of your grief to be of service to others.
4th House: Ancestral grief/healing, past-life influences, & family medicine.
** A few honourable mentions:
Moon Sign & Placement: Your emotional body, what helps you to feel safe, & how to feel love again after loss.
Mars Sign & Placement: The way you experience Anger, how to get moving again after depressive episodes, & what your inner fire needs to stay lit.
South Node Sign & Placement: Release, release, release. This placement is all about decrease, letting go, what you’re being invited to purify from your life, & how to care for your inner child.
Of course, depending on one’s unique chart — placements that are not mentioned here may still connect to grief, death, and sorrow.
These are a few mere steps to begin your journey…
In reverence,
Emma Cardinal
For the woman wanting to walk with her grief in a new yet ancient way…
You’re invited to join the Walking With Her women’s mentorship with grief — a 13 week journey of soulful-self exploration and sacred creativity.
We begin on Thursday July 17th!
—
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Within the Grief Pilgrimage container, we will explore death, loss, and grief through the lens of creativity, earth medicine, integrative holistic care, and grounded spiritual practices.
Welcome to the first step on your Grief Pilgrimage ;
Available in 3, 6, & 12 week packages depending on what would be most supportive for you at this time.
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