Do I advocate against freebirth?

I lost my son, Floyd, in childbirth a year ago.

We wanted to do a freebirth, which is to say birthing without professional support.

After 3 days of labouring at home we transferred to the hospital where I continued to labour for 8 more hours.

I spent the next two days on life support, in a coma fighting off a rare blood infection while the ICU doctors worked around the clock to bring my organs back to life.

Since then, I have been asked many questions — the most common being:

“Do you advocate against free birth?”

This is a question that I have been asked time and time again.

And it's a question that I have sat with since the passing of my son almost a year ago.

If I’m being completely honest, I haven't wanted to answer it,

because lately I don't feel like I know anything.

And that's been one of the teachings I have received.

That's been one of the biggest lessons I've learned is that no one really knows anything.

And nothing is completely black and white.

And so as I've sat with this question:

am I for or against freebirth?

What are my thoughts on free birth now that all is said and done?

Just because it didn't work for me and it wasn't safe for me,

does that mean it's a bad choice for everyone?

I've be sitting with the nuances of this question and really decided to dig deep and share my thoughts with you now as we approach the anniversary of his passing.

So if you're curious about my thoughts around freebirth, if I feel it's safe, if I advocate against it or if I am still supportive of it, this is the podcast episode you’ll want to listen to.

In this recording you will not hear my birth story, although you will hear bits and pieces of it.

For the purposes of this recording I'm going to be sharing my thoughts and what I've learned so far.

These are by no means statements of absolute truth; these are ponderings and musings and things that i've come to understand, as well as realizations and perspectives that i've gained over the last year.

If you have any thoughts, ideas, or perspectives that you want to share that could be valuable, I encourage you to write in the comments. If you have any questions about birth, I welcome you to ask them here as well.

I firmly believe that respectful conversation and compassionate dialogue with a desire to understand one another is the way forward.

Of course, in the format of a podcast or a recording like this, there isn't really a conversation, It's just me speaking to you; but we can make it a conversation.

We can bring forward the energy of dialogue in the comments section.

Your story, opinion, perspective, and medicine are important, so I wholeheartedly encourage you to join the conversation in the comments.

In reverence,

Emma